Thursday, January 24, 2008
You know you're a Reenactor IF...
You might be a reenactor if...
You might be a reenactor if...
...you've ever been chased out of a GAR meeting for "Spreading lies about our glorious forefathers!"
...sleeping outside in the rain and mud is your idea of a fun Saturday night.
...you can identify a regiment by the curses heard from their camp. (Son of a who?)
...you can't sing without a mug of something in your hand.
...you can spot oznaburg linen at 30 yards.
...you have ever spent over 300 dollars on clothes that went out of style over 150 years ago.
...you have ever replayed Ken Burns' "The Civil War" 25 times in a row just to get a glimpse of your foot in the left-hand corner of the screen.
...you've ever uttered the phrase "only 68 more days 'til (pick an event)!"
...you've ever fondled your musket lovingly.
...you consider life's essentials to be black powder and booze!
...you've ever gotten laid under canvas
...your employer says: "Oh, are you going out to play that war crap again?"
...your dinner guests see one of your uniforms and exclaims "Are you in a theater production?"
...your neighbor's dog is barking due to the high frequency pitch of the bugles and drums playing in your back yard.
...you've stockpiled lots of candles by the back door as a reminder not to forget them.
...you travel over 2000 miles to sleep in tent, at an historic site.
...used your musket to kill something to eat. (or Mountain Howitzer for my friends in the unit!)
...spent over $1000 for a gun that has to be DeFarbed.
...have slept with your weapons.
...put on your "Real" clothes just to look at yourself in the mirror.
...don't participate in games that encourage the throwing away of your weapon.
...you've sat in a theater with your friends and puzzled the audience by laughing through most of "Gone with the Wind".
...you drive by some open land and think "What a great place for a battle!"
...for Men: You're at the beach and a young beauty passes by in a thong swimsuit, and you fantasize about how great she'd look in "a corset and cage crinoline."
...you know by heart the lines to: Zulu, Zulu Dawn, The Four Feathers, and ANY Monty Python skit.
...you've repeatedly worn wool when the temperature tops 100 degrees Fahrenheit.
...you and your spouse are in direct competition over who gets to wear more plumes. (for us Confederates, not so much)
...you've received powder burns, pan flash burns, pulled off ticks, been infested by chiggers, gotten poison ivy, and still look forward to camping out every time.
...if there are a couple of cannon balls on stairs.
...if your house needs a coat of paint.
...if on holidays half the bowls and cups on the dinner table are hand thrown reproductions.
...if there are two or three muskets stacked in the parlor corner. (ours are in the living room)
...if there are half completed sewing projects decorating the parlor furniture.
...you've made a career decision based on its impact on your weekends.
...you've made a vehicle purchase decision based on how well it accommodates your kit and gets into and out of lost fields
...your neighbors talk about how your house smells of rotten eggs on Mondays.
...on Monday your business associates comment on the funny tan/sunburn line that ends at the hatline.
...no one will attend a war movie/historical costume drama with you.
...your reenacting wardrobe is more valuable than your business attire.
...your $30,000 car sits out in the weather so your $200 tent can stay in the garage.
...you have more reenacting shoes than 20th century shoes. (not quite, but I'm working on that)
...you spend more on a pair of reenacting shoes than on your "dress" shoes.
...you earn a good salary, but are always broke.
...your mailman stays confused (what the heck rank are you in the Reserves anyway?)
...your kids can correct their history teachers.
...you fly strange flags.
...your vanity tag gets lots of comments.
...your business associates are afraid to walk into your office. (Is that grenade on your desk real?)
...your freezer is full of candles (makes 'em burn longer - really!)
...you have more closet space devoted to costumes than "real" clothes.
...you get the "flux" on the way back home.
...in the middle of summer, you dread wearing a short-sleeved shirt in your air-conditioned office, while you can't wait to get to the next event, where you can dress in a long sleeved shirt, with a vest, wool coat, hat, and carry around 40 or 50 pounds of bulky gear on your back, while firing away with your musket, and then relaxing next to your cookfire.
...you have ever been asked at a gas station if you are Amish.
...you have ever assessed road kill as lunch meat potential.
...you win Halloween costume competitions - hands down.
...if you answered any or all of the following questions from the public; Is that a real fire?, Is that a real baby?, Is that real food and do you eat it?, Did you sleep here last night?, Do you sleep in that?, Is that a real sword?, Can that gun shoot?, Do you use real bullets?, Aren't you hot?, Do you get wet if it rains?, Is that hair real?, What did they use for toilet paper?, Are you from the North or the South?, Asked by a kid after a battle: "Did you really die?"